When I climbed out from my car into the parking lot I was immediately confronted by the scent of freshly cut grass. As I stood and began to walk towards the brown building across the street, little droplets fell from above and struck my face. A mist hung heavy in the air. All was still, silent.
Then, from afar, the calm was shattered by a scream, “FOREEEEE!”
The classic call reminded me why I was there, at Theodore Wirth Golf Club. An exciting beginning, albeit a tad dreary, to what would (eventually) be a day of duffs, whiffs, whacks, hacks, kegs and so much more. I’m talking, of course, about Golferoo 2012, Ad Fed of Minnesota’s annual golf tournament. What follows is the day as this blogger saw it.
12:00 PM | Clubhouse
There was a general sense of despair as the golfers filed into the clubhouse. People spoke in hushed tones, whispers, as they huddled together for warmth and solace. What was usually an exciting time was marred by the bolts of lightning that flashed across the sky. Weather reports suggested the storm would clear up at some point, but in the clubhouse there seemed to be a collective distrust of these “weathermen” and their alleged “predictions.” It seemed more likely Miley Cyrus would perform an impromptu concert on hole 6 than for the dark sky to clear. It was a hopeless place indeed.
12:02 PM | Clubhouse
Sunshine! Euphoria! Hope! The clouds had parted and given way to the sun’s glorious yellow rays. Alas, the meteorologists had redeemed themselves.
12:27 PM | Outside the clubhouse
Pure madness, absolute chaos. Carts, clubs and Bloody Marys whizz by my face as the teams scrambled to locate their golf carts. A muffled, incoherent announcement echoes over the loudspeaker. No one notices. One man runs from his car, babbling frantically, all I can make out was “client, insane, killed the work.”
12:32 PM | Outside the clubhouse
The first casualty of the day — a bag full of Pings goes flying off the cart. The owner’s face contorts into a look first of shock, then anger, and finally sadness as he slowly leans down to recover the fallen soldiers.
12:50 PM | Hole 18
With the tournament (finally) underway, I hop into a cart with Cory Vandenberghe and the honorable intention of locating the keg hole supervising the event proceedings. We rode around the course offering assistance. Much to our surprise we almost immediately encountered the FRWD-sponsored “keg hole.” How convenient.
1:35 PM | Hole 18
1:48 PM | Hole 7
Overheard on hole 6 after this photo.
“I prefer to smile internally.”
2:17 PM | Several yards and a bottle of gin
On the Forum Communications-sponsored hole, golfers were greeted with a sign that alerted them of a very, very interesting opportunity.
A prize meant for a king, truly.
The gin sat near the back of the green, luring golfers away from the pin and towards the squat green temptress of pine-needle flavored goodness (totally tastes like pine needles, right?). Many tried—few came close—but most overshot the green by 40 yards. Damn you, pesky gin.
3:19 PM | Hole-in-one hole
In three hours at the hole, perhaps the closest to sinking it was the woman pictured below. In the process she earned my annual Badass of the Year award — she backed up to the men’s tees and cranked it 160 yards, nearly hitting the pin and rolling off the back of the green. Whoa!
6:00 PM | Clubhouse
After all of the hubbub on the course, everyone returned to the clubhouse for some tasty nosh and a brief awards ceremony. Some talent rose to the top of the leader boards and took home their due prizes. But after a day of fun, sun, and most importantly, golf, it could be argued everyone was a winner at Golferoo 2012.